AMAZING OFFER ON AMISH AIR CONDITIONER STANDS!
With Global Warming all but an established fact now---albeit an established falsified fact---experts are predicting that this Summer will be the hottest on record. We at RIPOFF PRODUCTS INC. have put together a once-in-a-lifetime scam to ensure that you and your family are prepared to wait out the heat in an air conditioned home. We have teamed up with the world famous Amish Clans of Pennsylvania to pair our state of the art air conditioners with hand crafted air conditioner stands made by actual Amish children during their arts & crafts time at school.
The best part about his offer is we give you the Air Conditioner free if you purchase the hand crafted Amish Table for 12 easy payments of $89.00 each! That's right! You get the Air Conditioner absolutely free! All you do is purchase an Amish stand, pay $89.00 per month for 12 months (plus shipping & handling) and you can be chilling this Summer courtesy of the friendly hard working Amish people of Pennsylvania!
Supplies are limited and with anticipated demand high we have set up multiple phone lines to handle your requests. Please note the chart below and call the number for your geographic area.
(800) 222-555-6666 Northeastern United States and Canada
(800) 222-555-6667 Southeastern United States and Mexico
(800) 222-555-6668 Midwestern United States and Central America
(800) 222-555-6669 West Coast, Alaska, Hawaii and Southeast Asia