October 20th, 2004

Journal/Church Update

Church was awful Sunday but I think I'm learning what I should have already known. I can't bring them things out of my own mind or heart. I want to be this great preacher and they need a Pastor. They need someone to love them and to visit them, and to remember their names, and someone who will be on thier knees praying for them daily. And then also takes the time to hear from God about a word on Sunday Morning instead of blowing a Saturday playing Basketball when he should have been studying.

It seems Lord...

Like I've been waiting,
my whole life.
Waiting for a redlight,
or waiting in some line,
waiting for a reason,
or waiting for some sign.

And it's just another rainy day,
and this sky...
it's just so gray

And I ask so little,
and I want so much.
And I want to move,
at the presence of your touch.

And I feel so little,
'cause I've seen so much,
That I want to run,
from the pressure of that touch.

And I want a parting,
of the sea that lies ahead,
and I want the rushing,
of these waves to leave me dead.

And I want to soar,
at the joy that death would give.
And I want to wonder,
at the grace that lets me live.

Just another rainy day,
and this sky...
It always stays so gray.

And it seems I've been waiting,
my whole life.